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k_sereinroomToday I was briefly outdoors, taking my broken crystal pitcher to the dumpster by itself because it’s so heavy. It was windy, and there were hardly any people around. The dumpsters were overflowing, as they are this time of year, something having to do with the new contract or whatever.
It wasn’t a day for productivity, but for taking care of myself. Honestly, I’m having roller coaster emotions and wobbling. I ate relatively healthy food, something I might not have done in the past, and I have stuck to my budget, also something I wouldn’t have done in the past. Not drinking or smoking.
In the trauma healing course I’m taking over and over, one of the first lessons is about identifying your resources. For some this could be their pets, or gardening, or holding a favorite hot beverage in their hands. Some resources for me are watching old detective shows I’ve watched before. Lately, it’s been Rosemary and Thyme. Today I watched cooking videos on YouTube, another resource. But unfortunately I’m also watching the news.
The lentil crackers video, and the chickpea cracker one have recipes I’d like to try. But I don’t have a high speed blender, and I don’t think I could bear up well taking the risk of trying anyway and being disappointed. So there’s a lentil flatbread one I can do. Something to look forward to.
Things continue to escalate in this country per the evil playbook. ICE agents shot a couple in Portland this afternoon. They were at a vigil for the woman who was unalived in Minneapolis. The 911 call came from one of the shooting victims. The shooters fled the scene and didn’t call for paramedics. Allegedly, allegedly blah blah blah. The clinic next door might have security footage in the cloud that can’t be covered up.
My father fought fascism in Germany in WW2. It greatly added to his PTSD in addition to the generational dysfunction trauma. I would dearly love to just have “boring” things to write about my daily life, like that I did a small watercolor painting in my art journal again today.
And whatever is going on, people keep opening new restaurants in my city. An online newsletter I get about the local food scene, published a list of all the restaurants expected to open here this year. There are four within walking distance of where I live downtown. One I likely won’t go to –meals are meant to be shared there. But the other three are places I could look forward to.
Thai food, tacos from a popular brand out of LA., and a Schnitzel place. The tacos I’d likely get take-out. I have sporadic tremors and spill things a lot. I eat slowly, and sometimes I’m self-conscious. The Schnitzel place has limited seating but there’s a small park nearby with tables where I could go. Often the tables are taken over by people from shelters who get kicked out during the day. I can’t really complain about that. So I could just go to my apartment a block away, and taste food prepared by someone else.
Anyway, this is something I can look forward to. This evening I spend some time in a virtual world and put out cookies and cocoa dispensers on some of my parcels. “All kindly people are welcome here.”
It wasn’t a day for productivity, but for taking care of myself. Honestly, I’m having roller coaster emotions and wobbling. I ate relatively healthy food, something I might not have done in the past, and I have stuck to my budget, also something I wouldn’t have done in the past. Not drinking or smoking.
In the trauma healing course I’m taking over and over, one of the first lessons is about identifying your resources. For some this could be their pets, or gardening, or holding a favorite hot beverage in their hands. Some resources for me are watching old detective shows I’ve watched before. Lately, it’s been Rosemary and Thyme. Today I watched cooking videos on YouTube, another resource. But unfortunately I’m also watching the news.
The lentil crackers video, and the chickpea cracker one have recipes I’d like to try. But I don’t have a high speed blender, and I don’t think I could bear up well taking the risk of trying anyway and being disappointed. So there’s a lentil flatbread one I can do. Something to look forward to.
Things continue to escalate in this country per the evil playbook. ICE agents shot a couple in Portland this afternoon. They were at a vigil for the woman who was unalived in Minneapolis. The 911 call came from one of the shooting victims. The shooters fled the scene and didn’t call for paramedics. Allegedly, allegedly blah blah blah. The clinic next door might have security footage in the cloud that can’t be covered up.
My father fought fascism in Germany in WW2. It greatly added to his PTSD in addition to the generational dysfunction trauma. I would dearly love to just have “boring” things to write about my daily life, like that I did a small watercolor painting in my art journal again today.
And whatever is going on, people keep opening new restaurants in my city. An online newsletter I get about the local food scene, published a list of all the restaurants expected to open here this year. There are four within walking distance of where I live downtown. One I likely won’t go to –meals are meant to be shared there. But the other three are places I could look forward to.
Thai food, tacos from a popular brand out of LA., and a Schnitzel place. The tacos I’d likely get take-out. I have sporadic tremors and spill things a lot. I eat slowly, and sometimes I’m self-conscious. The Schnitzel place has limited seating but there’s a small park nearby with tables where I could go. Often the tables are taken over by people from shelters who get kicked out during the day. I can’t really complain about that. So I could just go to my apartment a block away, and taste food prepared by someone else.
Anyway, this is something I can look forward to. This evening I spend some time in a virtual world and put out cookies and cocoa dispensers on some of my parcels. “All kindly people are welcome here.”
no subject
Date: 2026-01-09 10:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 06:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-01-09 11:12 am (UTC)Oh and you aren't boring or even self-deprecating "boring" for that matter.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 06:30 am (UTC)Same about voting. Women could only vote for 34 years before I was born, so I can't not vote.
I'm feeling lighter today, and I hope you are too.